How To Slow Down Your Wedding Day
How To Slow Down Your Wedding Day.
We kind of have the odds stacked against us here from the get go.
Firstly, let’s be real here. You can’t get more time, 24 hours is 24 hours and when it comes down to it unless you want to run your wedding over multiple days, you’re limited to one full day.
Secondly, they say that time flies when you’re having fun and I’m sure you’ll agree. Ever found yourself so engrossed in an activity that you completely lost track of time? I’m hoping you have the same feeling on your wedding day!
But there are things we can tweak…
Over the years of photographing weddings there has been one common theme that appears. A wedding day just seems to go by so quickly! Blink and you miss it. Whilst you can’t get more time, I’ve learned through my own experience and speaking with past couples, there are a few tips and tricks you can do to help slow things down a little. Let’s get into it…
But first...
Let’s start with the don’ts…
Don’t wake up early.
This is a tricky one. You’re incredibly excited and probably nervous. You’ve been planning this day for a long time now and here you are, just about to hit the pillow, hours before the big day!
If you’re not an early morning person, don’t wake up early. All that’s going to happen is you’ll begin to lag towards the end of the night. Throw alcohol into that mix and you’ll be in bed before 10pm. Which brings me around to my next point.
Go easy on the alcohol.
Yes… Yes… I said it. It’s your wedding and I’m telling you to go easy on the alcohol. I get it, it’s not my place to do it. But, during the day (i.e., mostly when the sun is still up) take it steady, that way, when the party drops, you’re only just getting started and you can hit that bar harder than the (stereotypical) bestman hits on the bridesmaids.
Don’t pig out.
You know that Sunday afternoon feeling you get when you’ve just eaten the most incredible Sunday dinner ever and all you want to do is nap? Aka “a Food comma” – There is science behind this and it’s very much a real thing. Whilst I’m not a nutritional expert, I believe it’s down to an overload of carbs hitting your bloodstream and a huge increase in blood sugar levels. Take it easy on the food if you want to maintain your high energy levels. After all, your adrenaline can only carry you so far.
Don’t skip the water.
This is especially important on the lead up to your big day. This one’s generally good advice all year round, but if you start this on your wedding day, you’ll be wee’ing like a racehorse…. Not so easy if you’re in a dress (so I’ve heard) – Side note: An Ikea bag with cut out holes for your legs works absolute wonders when it comes to lifting it up for toilet access.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Don’t feel like you need to go round and speak to every single person or make sure everything is perfect and that each table decoration is angled towards the North-East. There are a lot of couples I’ve spoken to about the former, who have felt so concerned and worried that they didn’t speak to so and so.
Don’t worry about it.
Let your guests do the walking. They’re there because it’s your day, they want to see you both get married and have a good time. They’re not going to worry if you don’t manage to speak with them. Also, true story, 2 of my previous brides told me how they apologised profusely to some of their guests the following day as they didn’t get a chance to speak to them, only to find out they had a good 15 min conversation with them earlier in the day. Alcohol or adrenaline? I’ll let you decide!
As for the table decorations, honestly, the small stuff really doesn’t matter, which is why it’s called the small stuff. I get that it means a lot to you, but really, do you honestly want to let it spoil your day?
Now that we’ve got the (recommended) don’ts out of the way, let’s move on to the do’s (or more accurately, the ‘can dos’ – I’m giving you options here, not orders)
There are a few aspects of your day you can look at to help slow things down a little, all of which I’ve narrowed down to 3 key things…
1) The First Dance
2) The Speeches
3) The Ceremony
You see, one of the things I hear time and time again (and I did this at my own wedding) is that without realising it, you wish your own day away.
Phrases such as:
“I can’t wait to get the speeches out of the way”
“I’m not looking forward to the first dance”
“I just want to get married”
The problem with that is, you’re then wishing away the present moment because you just want to get these things done and dusted. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with these things, not everyone is a public speaker (I was dreading my own speech) but the underlying issue with phrases/thoughts like this is that you’re no longer living in the present moment. Your mind is now set on a future event and whilst it’s there, everything around you becomes a blur. You can’t truly stop to take everything in. Conversations happen on auto-pilot and before you know it, you’re at the end of the night wondering what on Earth actually happened.
So here’s what you can do.
If there’s any aspect of your wedding that you’re really dreading… drop it.
That’s right, get rid of it, no where does it state that you HAVE to do speeches or that you HAVE to do a first dance.
Going back to my list above:
The First Dance
If it’s something you’re absolutely dreading then drop it. With it being right towards the tail end of the night, it’s going to be on your mind ALL day and as previously mentioned, you’re going to miss out on everything that happens.
The Speeches
You have some flexibility with Speeches, if you feel like you want to do a speech (even though you’re dreading it) I suggest you do it before the Wedding Breakfast and not after. That way, you can get it out the way and sit down and enjoy your meal. You’ll also have a completely captive audience. No one’s going to be wandering off to the bar, to the toilet, to ‘check in’, to go for a nap (shouldn’t have eaten so much!). The audience is all yours. Oh and by the way, every single person in the room is willing you on for that speech. NOBODY wants anything other than for you to smash it.
The Ceremony
Drop it! – Kidding, of course, it's the key element of the day. Without it, there is no wedding. But you can be flexible with your timing. If it’s something you’re really nervous about then having it early will put your mind at ease much earlier on. The drawback of course, is it could mean a very early start for your preparations, especially if you have a large number to your bridal party.
It’s a balancing act when it comes to the time of your ceremony. You don’t want your guests getting bored because there’s too much time after the ceremony and between things. You also don’t want it too late as to really shorten your day (or perhaps you do! That’s the great thing about weddings).
You could even mix up your day entirely, What about having the wedding breakfast before you get married and having a late ceremony straight into a party?
There is no right or wrong way when it comes to your wedding. Who knows, you might even start a trend.
(Post Updated Jan 2023)